Monday, December 29, 2008
*blushing*
So, I just did one of the most embarrassing things ever. I admitted to my brother that I can't buy groceries this week. You know, I've always been the big sister - the one who took care of the others. And now, things are looking bleak. But, he gave me some perspective, and I think he was happy to be able to provide me with some idea that being broke isn't the end of the world. I will survive this and things will get better. And it doesn't involve eating mac & cheese for the foreseeable future.
her green plastic watering can
Ok, so, I don't even like Radiohead, but I think Cher Horowitz said it best: "ugh, the maudlin music of the University station - waa, waa, waa." I guess I'm just in a maudlin mood. Actually, I don't even KNOW if i'm in a maudlin mood. I'm such a fake myself. I don't even know what maudlin means, really - I'mma go look it up. Just a sec... Well, thank you Merriam-Webster: drunk enough to be emotionally silly or weakly and effusively sentimental. I guess I'm 2 for 2 tonight. Slightly drunk and ponderous do not make for good blogging. I won't take it personally if you discontinue reading. But, do you ever do that? Use words when you don't really know what they mean? The other day I found myself using the word "trope" ostensibly correctly, but only because I used it in a social script I've heard before. I really have no idea what that word means either. Just another sec... a common or overused theme or device; a cliche. Oh. Well, that makes sense, but I totally used it wrong. Just goes to show that the people I was talking to had no idea what it means either. Like the word "asymptote." I love that word, but the professor I'm working for has filled an entire article about her educational theories with that word, using it in a way that has absolutely nothing to do with the dictionary definition of it, but yet, sort of comes slightly close, if you squint and take crazy pills. And it's not entirely her fault, as she is basing her article on another article by this guy, who uses "asymptote" incorrectly through his entire work. When do you get important enough that you can use a word incorrectly, but it becomes correct to mean something it doesn't mean, only because you're cool/smart/respected enough that you can make up meanings to words and say it with a straight face. I'm just going to start doing it, and wait for people to call me on it. Let's see how many times I can get away with this. I'll document them here, when I can remember. Don't forget - I'm now cool/smart/respected enough to get away with this. Only because I've said I am. So let's start - I've decided that "alleviate," in the following context only, will now mean "rendered ineffectual."
I think Kurokawa's theories are "alleviated" by his incessant self-promotion, insofar as he fits his theories to his projects in order to create out of nothing a cohesive whole. This alleviation should reduce the merit that we ascribe to his projects, but somehow results in the opposite: Kurokawa is revered for his elastic theories, and other architectural practician/theoreticians are catching on. It will only be a matter of time before the architectural community realizes that Gehry's entire career is based on his imitation of this alleviation. But, it takes a true master to so completely alleviate one's theories while maintaining a viable architectural practice, such as Kurokawa's.
Wow - that actually sounds reasonably decent. Let's see if anyone buys what I'm selling. Cause I have WAY more shit where this came from...
I think Kurokawa's theories are "alleviated" by his incessant self-promotion, insofar as he fits his theories to his projects in order to create out of nothing a cohesive whole. This alleviation should reduce the merit that we ascribe to his projects, but somehow results in the opposite: Kurokawa is revered for his elastic theories, and other architectural practician/theoreticians are catching on. It will only be a matter of time before the architectural community realizes that Gehry's entire career is based on his imitation of this alleviation. But, it takes a true master to so completely alleviate one's theories while maintaining a viable architectural practice, such as Kurokawa's.
Wow - that actually sounds reasonably decent. Let's see if anyone buys what I'm selling. Cause I have WAY more shit where this came from...
Sunday, December 28, 2008
year end survey
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before? Get a tattoo
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I did, actually - I'm eating better and have stuck to my vegetarian regimen. And I will make another resolution, though I doubt I'll keep this one. I'd tell you, but isn't that like telling what a birthday wish is?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No.
5. What countries did you visit? Spain, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Germany. Yay study abroad!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Stable finances?
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 7-8, 2008. And it's a secret.
8. What was your biggest success? Figuring out that I don't have to please everyone.
9. What was your biggest failure? Well, I didn't have any really big failures, but I would say that comparatively, my failure to get anyone else interested in the student journal is a decent failure. But I'll show them... *shakes fist*
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No.
11. What was the best thing you bought? My computer with CS3 and Rhino. It means I can work in the relative comfort of my home, rather than at school - it makes life so much nicer...
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The people that voted for Obama.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own, on occasion.
14. Where did most of your money go? Printing. Seriously. Architecture school is all about printing and model making - and I spent a fair amount on that, as well.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? It is hard to come up with stuff that summarizes the year, and not right now. So, right now, I'm really really really excited about starting this student journal (also really really really scared and nervous, but w/e). But, over the course of the year, I was excited about many things: my Europe trip, dating, being on my own, living my new life, my new apartment, etc.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Gimme More - Britney Spears. That's kind of sad, actually...
17. Compared to this time last year, are you a.happier or sadder? b. thinner or fatter? c. richer or poorer?
a. Sadder, I think. I miss home a lot. b. thinner, for sure; c. much, much, much poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? making some money.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? spending money.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it at my mum's playing cards with my brother and my grandparents
21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Kind of, yeah. And as they say, love hurts.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Dexter Dexter Dexter!!!!!!!! Yeah, it merits that many exclamation points.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I try not to hate anyone anymore. It's not worth the effort. I find that indifference works better, because it truly conveys how little these people matter to me.
24. What was the best book you read? Metabolism in Architecture by Kisho Kurokawa. That's also kind of sad...
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Lily Allen (given to me by Christine for my b'day last year) and chill-out (a collection of which was given to me by my brother for Christmas last year)
26. What did you want and get? Hahaha - a girl never kisses and tells.
27. What did you want and not get? Lottery winnings - or a sugar daddy. Just kidding about the sugar daddy part. Sort of...
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Sex and the City. It was so fun!
29. What did you do on your birthday? ON my birthday, I went out in C'bus with my friends from studio (the boys actually humored me and went to a dance club after dinner for about 10 mins before bailing. I appreciate that!). We were out very late, and I crashed at Katelin's. FOR my birthday, I got my tattoo "God is in the details" on the inside of my left wrist. Even my grandparents didn't mind it - and that is saying a LOT.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? We can always wish for more THINGS, but I would wish for contentment with what I have.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? I would say "older student looking casually fabulous." Mostly heels, jeans, pretty shirts and jackets. Oh! And scarves. Lot's of scarves.
32. What kept you sane? I'm sane? When did that happen?
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Out of sight, out of mind means TB is off the list this year, but I think I'd have to say Michael C. Hall. So pretty...
34. What political issue stirred you the most? The election, though I got really tired of it about a month before it happened since I'm in a swing state and was bombarded with campaign ads.
35. Who did you miss? My brother. He's just really important to me, and I don't get to see him very often. Like, only once this year.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I don't like this question. It is trying to make me play favorites with people, which I do not appreciate. So I will just say that I met several people this year that I think have added a lot of value to my life. Some of them add professional or academic value, some personal, many both.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008? The best you can be isn't "perfect." It is just the best you can be, and shooting for perfect is an unreasonable goal.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose - the more that things change, the more they stay the same." "Circumstances" Rush.
Also:
"if it keeps on rainin' levee's going to break. When the levee breaks, I'll have no place to stay." "When the Levee Breaks" Led Zeppelin.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I did, actually - I'm eating better and have stuck to my vegetarian regimen. And I will make another resolution, though I doubt I'll keep this one. I'd tell you, but isn't that like telling what a birthday wish is?
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? No.
5. What countries did you visit? Spain, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Germany. Yay study abroad!
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? Stable finances?
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 7-8, 2008. And it's a secret.
8. What was your biggest success? Figuring out that I don't have to please everyone.
9. What was your biggest failure? Well, I didn't have any really big failures, but I would say that comparatively, my failure to get anyone else interested in the student journal is a decent failure. But I'll show them... *shakes fist*
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? No.
11. What was the best thing you bought? My computer with CS3 and Rhino. It means I can work in the relative comfort of my home, rather than at school - it makes life so much nicer...
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? The people that voted for Obama.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? My own, on occasion.
14. Where did most of your money go? Printing. Seriously. Architecture school is all about printing and model making - and I spent a fair amount on that, as well.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? It is hard to come up with stuff that summarizes the year, and not right now. So, right now, I'm really really really excited about starting this student journal (also really really really scared and nervous, but w/e). But, over the course of the year, I was excited about many things: my Europe trip, dating, being on my own, living my new life, my new apartment, etc.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Gimme More - Britney Spears. That's kind of sad, actually...
17. Compared to this time last year, are you a.happier or sadder? b. thinner or fatter? c. richer or poorer?
a. Sadder, I think. I miss home a lot. b. thinner, for sure; c. much, much, much poorer.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? making some money.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? spending money.
20. How will you be spending Christmas? I spent it at my mum's playing cards with my brother and my grandparents
21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Kind of, yeah. And as they say, love hurts.
22. What was your favorite TV program? Dexter Dexter Dexter!!!!!!!! Yeah, it merits that many exclamation points.
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I try not to hate anyone anymore. It's not worth the effort. I find that indifference works better, because it truly conveys how little these people matter to me.
24. What was the best book you read? Metabolism in Architecture by Kisho Kurokawa. That's also kind of sad...
25. What was your greatest musical discovery? Lily Allen (given to me by Christine for my b'day last year) and chill-out (a collection of which was given to me by my brother for Christmas last year)
26. What did you want and get? Hahaha - a girl never kisses and tells.
27. What did you want and not get? Lottery winnings - or a sugar daddy. Just kidding about the sugar daddy part. Sort of...
28. What was your favorite film of this year? Sex and the City. It was so fun!
29. What did you do on your birthday? ON my birthday, I went out in C'bus with my friends from studio (the boys actually humored me and went to a dance club after dinner for about 10 mins before bailing. I appreciate that!). We were out very late, and I crashed at Katelin's. FOR my birthday, I got my tattoo "God is in the details" on the inside of my left wrist. Even my grandparents didn't mind it - and that is saying a LOT.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? We can always wish for more THINGS, but I would wish for contentment with what I have.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? I would say "older student looking casually fabulous." Mostly heels, jeans, pretty shirts and jackets. Oh! And scarves. Lot's of scarves.
32. What kept you sane? I'm sane? When did that happen?
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Out of sight, out of mind means TB is off the list this year, but I think I'd have to say Michael C. Hall. So pretty...
34. What political issue stirred you the most? The election, though I got really tired of it about a month before it happened since I'm in a swing state and was bombarded with campaign ads.
35. Who did you miss? My brother. He's just really important to me, and I don't get to see him very often. Like, only once this year.
36. Who was the best new person you met? I don't like this question. It is trying to make me play favorites with people, which I do not appreciate. So I will just say that I met several people this year that I think have added a lot of value to my life. Some of them add professional or academic value, some personal, many both.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008? The best you can be isn't "perfect." It is just the best you can be, and shooting for perfect is an unreasonable goal.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose - the more that things change, the more they stay the same." "Circumstances" Rush.
Also:
"if it keeps on rainin' levee's going to break. When the levee breaks, I'll have no place to stay." "When the Levee Breaks" Led Zeppelin.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
There comes a time
I won't say it comes for every person, but it HAS come for me. I think part of it is getting older. You know, I'm soon to be not just 30, but IN my 30's. There's a difference. It may be subtle, but it's there. In any event, the time has come in my life where I'm asking myself what will be my legacy. I'm getting to the point where kids are looking less and less likely, though I wouldn't object to having them at some point, but generally, that's an endeavor best (not "only," but "best") undertaken as a duo, in my opinion, and that, too, is looking less and less likely. I think I'm getting picky. But I digress, as per usual. So if offspring isn't my gift to the world, what IS? A legacy is generally determined at the end of life, and not in the middle (or infancy, as Li would say), but here I am marking the course for my own destiny. Well, at least the first step, anyway. In some small way, I feel like I'm putting a drop in the bucket of my obligation to society this winter by starting a student journal at school. You know, the students here work so hard (as they do at all architecture schools, I imagine), but they get so little respect or recognition. Even the professors that teach here act as though they are deigning to be in our presence, rather than acknowledging that without us, they really wouldn't exist. So, rather than leave recognition to the professors (who generally have their heads up their bums, and only like stuff that looks reMARKably like the stuff THEY produce), I'm recognizing projects that are interesting, innovative, creative, well thought-out, or just that I liked. I'm trying to include a broad range of projects, but I also want to curate the projects into a theme - some thread that connects all the projects together. I guess I'll determine that when I look at the projects and see if a theme emerges. Otherwise, I'll just pull something out of my butt and call it "brilliant!" I say "I" because, at this point, I'm the only one working on this, but we shall see what the future holds. So, there you have it. Tangents is born. And this way, I avoid 3 am feedings. Huzzah!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
If it keeps on rainin', levee's going to break
You know what's really hard? Realizing you like someone, but having no guts whatsoever to try to get to know them better. Why do I feel like I'm not interesting or that I'm not worthy of someone's romantic attention? I don't know. All I know is I don't have time to worry about this stuff. I wish guys knew that women want THEM to approach. It would make life so much easier. I can't tell you how many times I've just wanted a guy to say "hey - coffee?" It's just that easy. I suppose it's just that easy for me too, but for some reason, it feels like it is more difficult for me.
Anyhoo, the quarter is winding to a close. I still have a ton of work to do over break. SO much work, actually. I owe a few hours on my research assistantship, and I have a LOT of grading to do to get final grades in for my history students. But, it all is to a purpose I suppose. I really love architecture - especially the theory parts - but I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've pretty much had my foundations shaking for the last 2 years, and every time I feel like I'm stable on them again, another shake-up comes. I guess I'm just feeling discouraged this year. Something about it feels "off" and I can't seem to get on track. Like, I researched a lot this summer on a paper that I wanted to write, got really far in the research and was formulating my analysis of my topic, and then had the rug ripped out from under me as soon as school started. And by "rug ripped out from under me," I mean told that I'm wasting my time. I want to ignore the nay-sayers, but I can't help but wonder if they're right. Am I wasting my time? Should I just go back to the law? I was certainly good at that, but it was soulless and soul-stealing work. I suppose I could find another kind, but I don't know. My heart's not in it. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball...
Anyhoo, the quarter is winding to a close. I still have a ton of work to do over break. SO much work, actually. I owe a few hours on my research assistantship, and I have a LOT of grading to do to get final grades in for my history students. But, it all is to a purpose I suppose. I really love architecture - especially the theory parts - but I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've pretty much had my foundations shaking for the last 2 years, and every time I feel like I'm stable on them again, another shake-up comes. I guess I'm just feeling discouraged this year. Something about it feels "off" and I can't seem to get on track. Like, I researched a lot this summer on a paper that I wanted to write, got really far in the research and was formulating my analysis of my topic, and then had the rug ripped out from under me as soon as school started. And by "rug ripped out from under me," I mean told that I'm wasting my time. I want to ignore the nay-sayers, but I can't help but wonder if they're right. Am I wasting my time? Should I just go back to the law? I was certainly good at that, but it was soulless and soul-stealing work. I suppose I could find another kind, but I don't know. My heart's not in it. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball...
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