You know what's really hard? Realizing you like someone, but having no guts whatsoever to try to get to know them better. Why do I feel like I'm not interesting or that I'm not worthy of someone's romantic attention? I don't know. All I know is I don't have time to worry about this stuff. I wish guys knew that women want THEM to approach. It would make life so much easier. I can't tell you how many times I've just wanted a guy to say "hey - coffee?" It's just that easy. I suppose it's just that easy for me too, but for some reason, it feels like it is more difficult for me.
Anyhoo, the quarter is winding to a close. I still have a ton of work to do over break. SO much work, actually. I owe a few hours on my research assistantship, and I have a LOT of grading to do to get final grades in for my history students. But, it all is to a purpose I suppose. I really love architecture - especially the theory parts - but I just don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've pretty much had my foundations shaking for the last 2 years, and every time I feel like I'm stable on them again, another shake-up comes. I guess I'm just feeling discouraged this year. Something about it feels "off" and I can't seem to get on track. Like, I researched a lot this summer on a paper that I wanted to write, got really far in the research and was formulating my analysis of my topic, and then had the rug ripped out from under me as soon as school started. And by "rug ripped out from under me," I mean told that I'm wasting my time. I want to ignore the nay-sayers, but I can't help but wonder if they're right. Am I wasting my time? Should I just go back to the law? I was certainly good at that, but it was soulless and soul-stealing work. I suppose I could find another kind, but I don't know. My heart's not in it. I just wish I had a magic 8 ball...
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