90 grit

So today is a little on the rough side. My Grampy (dad's dad) had a major stroke yesterday, and no longer recognizes anyone. He's talking, but it's slurred and garbled, and he doesn't seem to know where he is or why he's in the hospital. The bad part of this is that his body is just fine, it seems. He can't move much, but he isn't having any organ issues or anything. This is bad because the one thing my grandfather never wanted was to be in a state where he wasn't aware of the world, and just lived like that in a nursing home for a long time. And the family dynamic is such that dealing with potentially losing him is very difficult. He wasn't the most engaged person with his family, so there is some resentment and hostility, but duty and love as well. To top that off, my Nan (mom's mom) found out that her breast cancer is back, and she has to have a mastectomy. She's really upset about it, but sees that there's really no other choice. At the age of 31, with all four of my grandparents living, I think I just have to come to terms with the fact that the window of this being true is closing quickly. They've all lived full, long, and happy lives, so it's not like anyone is being taken in their prime - not like my step-father, for example. But, it's still hard, and it brings my own mortality into focus a bit. Sort of starts the clock ticking on lots of things I want to do. Oh well - just another step on the journey. Good thing I roughed up the bottom of my shoes, so I don't slip.

:)

I really hate when people speak in up-talk all the time, and I find that in young academia, it is rampant. Ugh. If there is one thing I am glad about from law school, it's that I kicked that nasty habit. So today was the end of the first phase of my studio project this quarter. It is entirely group/partner work this quarter, which is quite the difference from other quarters. But, sadly, today I got thrown under a bus. Much of my group kind of let me down, and for some reason, I ended up taking the fall for it. But, c'est la vie. I shall persevere. As for other things in life, there's a boy that I kind of like. Well, there's actually two boys that I kind of like, but only one is within dating distance. But, I'm not sure what to do. I'm seriously putting the vibe out there, and he's responsive in a friendly way, but I never know how to read these situations. Sigh. I wish boys would just do the approaching. It would make life so much easier! Also, small observation, when did it become fashionable to do smilies backward? Like: (: instead of :)? This random change makes no sense to me. It seems arbitrary for the sake of being arbitrary. But, what do I know?